Wait…You Can Buy Your Mama's Casket ONLINE?! 😳

For starters that Yep, it's a thing.
And Here’s What I Learned.

When I tell people I purchased my mother's casket online, I usually get some version of the same response:

“Wait. You can DO that?!”

Once again, Yes.

But honestly, before my mother died, I didn't know that i could either.

When you're planning a funeral, there are SO MANY decisions coming at you at once that it's easy to assume everything has to be purchased directly through the funeral home.

Casket included.

I quickly learned that wasn't necessarily the case.

And because funeral expenses can add up very quickly, knowing what your options are before you start saying yes to things can make a real difference.

This isn't me telling you where you should buy a casket. I'm sharing what I learned while planning my own mother's funeral—and what I wish I'd known before I ever walked into that funeral home.

First: Yes, You Can Buy a Casket Somewhere Else

Under the Federal Trade Commission's Funeral Rule, a funeral home generally cannot require you to purchase a casket from them as a condition of providing funeral services.

You're allowed to purchase a casket from another source and have it delivered to the funeral home. The funeral provider also cannot refuse to handle a casket simply because you purchased it elsewhere or charge you an additional fee just for using an outside casket.

That was news to me.

And it's one of the reasons I now tell women:

Don't assume. ASK.

Ask what something costs.

Ask whether it's required.

Ask what's included.

Ask whether you have alternatives.

Because when you're grieving, it's incredibly easy to hear an option presented to you and think, Well, I guess that's what I'm supposed to do.

Sometimes it isn't.

How I Ended Up Shopping for My Mom's Casket Online

It was an unknown concept for me, but not for a family member who had already successfully purchased an online casket for their loved one after they'd planned a funeral. And they saved exactly $1200 by doing so. This might not sound like a lot of money to some, but once you sit in that chair at the funeral home, those costs quickly add up. And I will admit that I felt some guilt at the very beginning of doing so(was I just being cheap, and didn't my mom deserve more?)---but not much once I compared the funeral home casket to the one I wound up purchasing online. They were pretty much surprisingly identical.

And to be fair, I've read online threads where folks say they'd never think of buying a casket without actually seeing it in person. I say compare the specs. Chances are that if it is well sealed and aesthetically pleasing on the outside, your loved one won't be complaining.

I also get that there's something surreal about doing something as ordinary as scrolling through a website while making one of the most emotionally significant purchases of your life. But when was the last time you heard someone say, "The funeral was amazing, but that casket was a terrible sight to see! I'm just saying...

The Price Difference Got My Attention

Earlier, I mentioned price point being a large factor in me choosing to buy a casket online for my mom. But I must also warn you that price shouldn't be the only consideration.

You need to know exactly what you're ordering and, perhaps even more importantly, whether it can get where it needs to go on time.

Before Buying a Casket Online, Ask These Questions

If I were doing it again, these are some of the things I'd want answered before clicking that purchase button:

• Will the funeral home accept delivery from this seller? While the Funeral Rule protects your right to purchase elsewhere in covered situations, tell the funeral director what you're planning and coordinate delivery.
• Exactly when will it arrive? A beautiful bargain isn't much of a bargain if the funeral is Saturday and the casket is sightseeing in Ohio.
• Where will it be delivered? Confirm the funeral home's exact delivery address and receiving instructions.
• What happens if delivery is delayed? Ask the seller before purchasing.
• What are the dimensions and specifications? Make sure you're purchasing something appropriate for your loved one and the arrangements being made.
• What is the return/refund policy? Don't assume a casket has the same return rules as a pair of shoes.
• Are shipping or delivery charges included? Compare the total cost rather than just the advertised price.
• Who do I contact if something goes wrong? Save the order confirmation, tracking information and customer-service details.

And I would have the funeral home involved in confirming the logistics.

You don't need another surprise that week.

Trust me—you've got enough going on.

Ask the Funeral Home for the General Price List

This is something I wish more families knew before making funeral decisions.

The FTC's Funeral Rule gives consumers the right to receive itemized price information from funeral providers covered by the rule.

That matters because instead of only hearing:

“Here's the package.”

you can better understand:

“What exactly am I paying for?”

That is a completely different conversation.

When you're arranging your mother's funeral, asking about money can feel uncomfortable.

Ask anyway.

You're not being cheap.

You're not dishonoring your mother.

You're trying to make informed decisions during an incredibly emotional time.

Those things can coexist.

Spending More Doesn't Mean You Loved Her More

I really want this message somewhere in this article.

Because grief can make talking about money---weird.

You're standing there making decisions for someone you love enormously, and suddenly your brain starts attaching emotional meaning to purchases.

Mom deserves the better one.

I don't want people thinking we went cheap.

Maybe I should upgrade this.

She would've wanted something beautiful.

And before you know it, grief is helping you spend money.

I had to learn that the amount of money I spent wasn't a measurement of how much I loved my mother.

A casket couldn't tell her whole story.

Neither could flowers.

Neither could a funeral program.

Those were things we chose to honor her.

They weren't the value of her life.

There's a difference.

Would I Buy a Casket Online Again?

Yes, I very much would. The company you decide to deal with matters a lot too. Do your research, as all online casket companies are not the same. Here's what made it a yes for me.

Did it arrive on time? Yes.

Was it what you expected? Yes.

How did the quality compare? It was top-notch quality, more beautiful in person in fact.

Was the funeral home cooperative? Yes.

Did anything make you nervous? Wondering if it would arrive on time to the funeral home. It did, but always plan ahead accordingly, and be mindful of weekends and holidays.

How much did you save? $600.

Would you do anything differently? No.

And ultimately:

Would you recommend that another daughter at least compare her options before buying directly from the funeral home?

I absolutely would.

What I Wish Someone Had Told Me

Planning my mother's funeral taught me something that applies far beyond caskets: Create a peaceful experience, but ask yourself if your mom would want you to go deep into debt/or pay overboard for items that will cost you big bucks for long after the funeral is over.

You have permission to ask questions.

When you're grieving, you may feel like everyone around you knows how this works except you.

They don't necessarily.

And you're the customer.

Ask:

Is this required?

Is this included?

What does this cost?

Are there other options?

Can I provide my own?

Who handles this?

What happens next?

Write the answers down.

Get prices in writing.

Bring someone with you if possible.

And don't be embarrassed to say:

“I need a minute before I decide.”

Your mother deserves to be honored.

You deserve to understand what you're agreeing to.

Those two things aren't in conflict.

From One Daughter to Another ❤️

I never imagined I'd become the woman telling other women what I learned from buying my mama's casket on the internet.

Yet here we are. 

Losing my mother taught me how many things happen after someone dies that nobody really prepares you for.

That's why I created Was It Sad?

I'm sharing what I learned about funeral arrangements, the questions I wish I'd asked, the things that helped, therapy, the difficult firsts, the memories—and eventually learning how to keep living after Mom.

Because grief is part of the story.

It doesn't have to be the whole story.

→ Download my free My Mom Just Died. What Do I Do Now? guide

This article shares my personal experience and general information. Funeral, cemetery, legal and consumer requirements can vary by situation and location. Verify current requirements with the appropriate funeral provider, government agency or professional before making decisions.